As parents, we enter adoption with a lot of unknowns. We question whether our new child(ren) will possess giftedness or special ability. We question the reasons for the events that led to their availability for adoption. We wonder about their future and if and whom they will marry in the future. We sometimes question whether they will actually love us.

God knows the answers to these questions. God’s plan for us and for our adopted children works together for their and our good (Romans 8:28) and results in their future being full of hope (Jeremiah 29:11).

The first given is that adoption takes a lot of time. All of the studies and forms that are required for parents to adopt take countless hours to complete. This is the first acid test of how committed a family is to adoption. The home study seems to take an agonizing amount of time before one gets approved for adoption. Choosing an agency can significantly help. After one completes all the necessary paperwork, there is a waiting period before children are placed in the new home. This can seem like it is going to take forever.

We also hope for an enduring relationship with our children. The adoptive parent needs to be prepared to invest time after their adoption, because adoption requires time invested in our children. It is a life-changing event for both the parent and the child(ren).

The second given is that adoption a lot of patience. One waits a great deal more than he or she expected for the adoption to be finalized, including waiting for the call to travel overseas to finalize an international adoption. It is not uncommon for documents to be redone multiple times before an adoption is approved. Then the exciting day arrives when children are placed in your family! After the adoption, there are multiple home studies that are required.

After adoption, parents still need lots of patience. Children will naturally test the parents to see what the boundaries are. The adoptive parents need a support group at this point, where others pray for them to have the requisite patience to rear their children.

The third given is that adoption takes a lot of money. All the placement and legal fees require a significant allocation of resources. The best thing to do is look first at one’s own assets, and then seek out grants and donations to help cover the difference. Again, in an international adoption there will be costs associated with travel to finalize the adoption. Parents needs to budget well, because after the adoption the child will have specific needs (including possible medical expenses).

The last given is that adoption takes a lot of love. Adoption is all about parents and children. Both have a bottomless need for love. Children do things not because they make sense, but because they have needs. Parents who are going through the challenges of an adoption need others to comfort and encourage them. All of us who call ourselves Christians need to lavish this love on both parents and children.

What about your adoption journey? Have you been surprised by the time, patience, money, or love that it takes to adopt?