I recently stayed with a lovely family who had lost a young child. She had died as a result of burns to her body from yanking a pot of boiling water off the stove, splashing it onto herself. The family was rightfully grieving her death and wondering what, if anything, they could have done to prevent this.

This is a normal response to losses in our lives. We question the goodness and/or the sovereignty of God when bad things happen, and think that we (or someone else) deserve better. Our adopted children have a way of turning things around, because they have already suffered the loss of their birth families in adoption, and their difficulty in adjusting to a new family makes them cause some loss for those who love them the most.

But one of the worst losses in adoption is the physical death of a child. We may have, for example, adopted a child with known physical disabilities (including major problems like a heart defect), but believe that medicine can rescue them. There are times when this is not the case. Then we are forced to accept the loss of our adopted child.

This can leave a hole in our hearts. The one whom we loved and whom we gave so much of ourselves for us is gone. Maybe this was the same kind of grief anticipated by Abraham when God asked him to sacrifice Isaac? Our dreams and our hopes for this child are shattered. We are tempted to think that we are in some way responsible.

There is a balance between divine sovereignty and human responsibility. Human responsibility means that I take every precaution reasonable to protect my child from harm and disease. However, God still remains sovereign in His actions, and is working all things together for our good (and our child’s good), as well as for His glory. We need to accept that His glory sometimes trumps what we think of as our good.

So, as you look into the face of your adopted child, realize that you have been entrusted with that child by a Heavenly Father, who has purposes much greater than you have, and who loves that child more than you ever will. Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen (Hebrews 11:1). Without that faith, it is impossible to please God (Hebrews 11:6).

Where have you been forced to trust God in an area that is uncomfortable regarding your adopted child(ren)? Please comment in the space below and share your story.