We were cheering our favorite team as we all watched intently on television. Everyone wants to win the game or to have their favorite team win. Especially when it comes to the end of the game and the score is close. The sting of losing is more painful when you know that you did not finish well.

It is easy to forget that one of our life’s purposes is to finish well. The culture around us teaches us to live for the moment (“you only live once,” “fear of missing out”). Our children are inundated with this cultural perspective continuously. We have lost our sense of shame (both individually and collectively) in our culture, and emphasize “excellence” in sports and academics over being known as a moral person.

Paul’s self-evaluation in 2 Timothy 4:7-8 is a challenge to us. He could have regretted all the choices he made, but instead he focused on the future reward he would receive from the Lord. Similarly, he gave up everything he had previously treasured for the sake of knowing Christ in this life (Philippians 3:7-11). He had his eyes focused on finishing well.

Our adoptive children often make poor choices in order to self-validate and to receive the approval of peers. Especially in the high school and college years, they are tempted to conform to the worldview of our secular culture. What can we do?

First, we need to train them early to stand against (sometimes alone) evil and sin when they see it or hear about it. If they are not trained in what is right, they will acquiesce to doing what is wrong. We should offer them a community of people who are committed to living out their lives for Jesus Christ. We should be willing to discuss why certain behaviors are against what the Bible teaches. They need to be prepared to walk away when they are in a situation that may result in compromise.

Second, we should guard them from their “friends.” We all tend to imitate those we are around the most, which is why Proverbs tells us to hang around wise people (Proverbs 13:20). These days, not only does this apply to physical proximity, but also to exposure to online social platforms and music, as well as other media. But computer and cellphone usage should be monitored. We need to remind them that what others may call “right” may lead to death (Proverbs 14:12).

Third, we should be willing to share our struggles with godly people around us. As we open up about what we are going through, we confirm each other in our goal to see our children finish well. Our children will not finish well if they do not see it in us and others like us. We can pray together and ask God to help our children. This is part of spiritual warfare.

Fourth, we need to commit ourselves to prayer on a regular basis for our children. We can underestimate the efficacy of committed prayer, especially for our children as they go through life’s struggles. Even when we do not know exactly how to pray, we can plead with God to show them what is right and help them to do it (James 5:16). We need to pray that our children will put on the armor of God each day (Ephesians 6:10-18).

Every day represents a new opportunity to invest in our adopted children and to cheer them on towards finishing well. May the Lord Jesus Christ help us do this. Please comment below on this blog.