Adoption as a father is one of the greatest privileges one can ever experience. It is frequently downplayed, because, in our culture of “anything goes” with regard to a family, it is viewed as acceptable for any two adults or single person to adopt children. In addition, some adoptive fathers choose to adopt as a result of infertility, which might stigmatize them. A man who cannot help create a life may feel that he is something less than a “real” man and may feel shame.

Yet, children are a genuine blessing in our lives. One of the blessings is that they mirror our attitudes, and so help us see where we need to change our own character. They also represent the next generation, our legacy for changing the world for the better. However, as a father, I have two distinct responsibilities toward my adopted children.

First, I am to protect them. Whether physically, mentally, or ethically, when I protect them, I am doing the same function my Heavenly Father does for me. He continually defends me and looks out for my welfare (Romans 8:28). A child without parents is one without safeguarding from the world (witness the rise in child sexual trafficking, for example). Our Heavenly Father shelters us from the attacks of Satan as well as from the world. He does not leave us as orphans.

Second, I am to provide for my adopted children. Children have obvious physical needs (food, shelter, and clothing) and emotional needs (love, growth, and self-worth). A father has a key role in supplying these needs for and nurturing his children. God in His providence has given to man the very things necessary for man’s existence (food and clothing) and made it possible for him to be satisfied (Psalm 145:15-16). God demonstrates steadfast love toward us (Psalm 86:15) and disciplines us when we need correction (Hebrews 12:8-11). His consistent provision is what causes us to desire to know more of Him (Psalm 73:25-26).

This is not to say that a mother cannot and will not perform many of these functions. However, there is a special satisfaction for a father in knowing that he is doing so. Fathering is an opportunity to learn to show the same maturity and responsibility that my own earthly father gave me as I was growing up. It is also my way of showing the same bountiful supply of care for my children that God has provided for me. And, optimally, that occurs in a stable, two-parent family where the children can learn how the parent of each gender complements the other.

Adoption puts this in the spotlight, because the child brought into a new family setting as a result of a disruption in their birth family. While the child did not bring about the disruption, he often internalizes its consequences and questions his value. As an adoptive dad, I am able to restore to my children the value that they have in God’s eyes.

What do you think about this? Are you an adoptive father? What challenge(s) have you faced in protecting and providing for your children?