The first time we laid our eyes on our new sons-to-be, we fell in love with them. We knew that the Lord wanted us to be a family. All the months of effort up to this point had been worth it. However, it came with a cost.

From the first time we met with our social worker, she informed us about the costs that the agency charged to assist with the adoption. In addition to this, there was flying halfway around the world to pick them up, and our expected “donation” to the orphanage and the social worker there who would coordinate everything abroad.

So, it would be easy to view this as a crass “money for children” scheme, in which we “bought” our newly adopted sons. In other words, we might end up viewing them as a commodity we acquired, like a new car or new house. This temptation might even be stronger for those who have to go into debt in order to adopt.

Yes, there is a cost to adoption. Our own adoption by our Heavenly Father cost the blood of His Son Jesus Christ. We should not be surprised by the fact that adoption is expensive! And there are all the costs (mentally and emotionally) that have to be paid after the adoption. Nonetheless, we should not take the view that our children now should do what we think they should do just because we paid to adopt them into our family.

The most important thing we can do to counter this perspective is to realize that our children are really God’s children after all. They are precious in His sight, because He has protected their lives to this point, and they are made in His image. He has not allowed anything to happen in their lives that was not ultimately to serve His purposes (Jeremiah 29:11; Romans 8:25-39). With this view, there is no way to put a price tag on an individual’s worth.

We also need to realize that we, too, were bought with a price (1 Corinthians 6:20) when we were adopted. Everything worth having in life is worth paying a good price for. Nothing of value comes to us cheaply. We love that which costs us dearly, and we are willing to pay dearly for that which we truly love.

The value of our adopted children will become evident to them as they witness firsthand what we are willing to give up for them. They struggle already with a self-image that says they do not have worth given that their birth parents gave them up for adoption. We build them up by the affirmation and praise (and correction, if done right) we give them.

So, here’s an acronym to help you remember your child’s VALUE:

                        V ast

                        A mounts of

                        L ove and

                        U nderstanding

                        E veryday

            Please comment on this blog and share your thoughts. We are all in this together as parents!