Ever have one of those times when you walked into a store and got more than you bargained for? It happened again yesterday, where we bought some gifts in a local shop, and they threw in some extras—lagniappe, as the folks from Louisiana would say. It’s an expression of generosity.

Adoption provided more than we bargained for, both in positive and negative terms. We were parents for the first time, and had assumed the responsibility and privilege of loving and rearing two young sons who had never really ever experienced real love (they soaked it up like sponges!). We, on the other hand, reveled in the fact that God had given us two sons. They bombarded us with questions, and we did our best to respond.

We also faced times of frustration. They did not understand why they had lost some of the freedom they had experienced in the orphanage. They wanted to play rather than go to school. They mimicked two-year olds with their frequent use of the word, “no.” And they certainly did not believe that their adoption was permanent (they thought we were going to return them to their orphanage). As parents, I struggled with my limited knowledge of their native language and trying to communicate with them. We also wrestled with their misbehaviors and lying to cover them up. We worried over their risk-taking behaviors (particularly climbing tall trees).

Just when we thought it was going to get better, in the teen years their rebellion grew. We prayed that God would open their eyes to His desires for their lives. They had received Christ into their lives as young children and were baptized, but did not seem to know how to make this affect their lives as teenagers. They preferred friendships with naughty boys at school. We were embarrassed to share our struggles with those who were close to us, including friends at our church.

However, it was a time of rejoicing when both sons finished high school. This was a true accomplishment and proved that they had done the work. This coincided with their turning twenty, when they finally realized that they were adults and responsible for their own actions. We now rejoice in their marriages and in the growing number of children that they have. God is clearly in control of their lives. God has made sure that we got more than we bargained for.

In what ways have you felt as though you got more than you bargained for in your adoption? Share your stories and comments in the comment box below.