When we first adopted our sons, we debated whether or not to give them new names. We finally decided not to keep their foreign names, although they are part of their new middle names (reflecting their heritage). Choosing a name for your adopted child can be one of the trickier decisions you make.

Along with the new name comes a new identity. While the new name may be easier to pronounce in the parents’ language, it may be more difficult especially for a child who is old enough to begin to talk or older. Parting with old identities is never easy; it is as if a part of the child has died. And most of this occurs before the adopted child bonds with the adoptive parents.

For an older child, this may mean that he does not catch cues directed at him because he may have not adjusted to his new name. A child may find this frustrating. The birth name to some degree reflects the love of the birth parents, particularly the mother. Losing this association in addition to all the other adjustments of adoption can result in disorientation for the child (and especially if they have special needs).

One of the remarkable things about our relationship with God is that He promises to give us a new name (Revelation 2:17). We may be sure that this reflects His loving care for us, as well as our new identity as His child. And it will be something that we will want to be thankful about, as well as praise God for it. The new name will reflect our new identity when we undergo ultimate sanctification.

So, be patient in explaining to your adopted child about his new name and why you selected it. Allow some time for adjustment to it, and even some overlap with the use of the old name. As time goes on, the child will only identify with his new name.

What struggles are you having with your adopted child(ren) and new names? What has worked for you? Please leave a comment in the comment box below.