“Blessing” is an old-fashioned word. We use it without thinking about what it means. When is the last time a friend or family member sneezed, for example, and you uttered, “God bless you”? We all want to be blessed, and yet we are not sure how to bless others. God is the One who is the source of blessing (think of the hymn, “Blessed Assurance”). We tend to think of blessing as just another word for “happiness,” or something that only super-spiritual people can achieve.

But a Google search of “blessing” yielded 182 million hits. Blessing is much more than the opposite of using profanity (curse words). Blessing is an ability to jump into someone else’s life and show them some of God’s character working through us. It is the result of a character quality that we have learned (think “Beatitudes”). When it comes to blessing our adopted children, it involves much more than choosing to adopt them.

Blessing as Words of Encouragement

All of us need encouragement. Giving encouragement is not simply being a cheerleader standing on the sidelines, or trying to build up our child’s self-esteem (heaven knows, we already have too much of that when we are born). Being an encourager involves knowing what is going on in our children’s lives and then letting them know that we are behind them in their endeavors. It is affirming the God-given temperament and skills that our children have.

Life is full of disappointments, starting with our first fall when we try to walk. A parent shows their love by encouraging his child with the perspective about what is (and is not) truly important. Being able to provide reassuring words is a blessing to an adopted child.

Blessing as Speaking Well of Them

We are often prone to correcting our children. How many times in a day do we catch ourselves trying to alter their behavior? And we have also heard that hackneyed question, “Haven’t I told you a million (maybe a billion for millennials) times not to do such-and-such?” A child tends to ignore a critical parent, because he feels there is no way to please that person. One way to bless our children is to notice and to praise them for things they do right.

In addition, we bless our children when we praise them in front of others. We tend to respond to the question, “How is Suzy doing?” with some form of complaint about her. What if we responded to all the relatives who ask this question with a statement of affirmation about how Suzy is coming along? This is especially true during the teen years where we bless them in front of their and our friends by pointing out the positive about them.

Blessing as Spending Time with Them

In our fast-paced culture, it is too easy to fail to give our children the time with us that they need. We mistake sitting in the same room while everyone is texting on their cell phones or driving them as activities being with them. The point of adoption is to have the privilege of providing a stable family environment for that child by giving them the needed attention that their birth parent(s) were unable to give.

It is a truism that in order to get to know someone we must spend time with them. This time must involve interaction, and interaction is best done face-to-face with those we love. We can plan on enjoying activities together, because these create memories. Our traditions this time of year also give us a chance to deepen our relationships with one another.

Blessing as Giving a Legacy

Most of us adopt for the purpose of seeing our children become part of our family history. Among other things, that means that we want our children to grow up, adopt our family values, and have families of their own. The legacy that we give to them is the very values that they see us living out in our daily lives. Our faith in God is one of those values.

It is the blessing of having hope (which they likely did not have prior to adoption) that continues to affect their lives after we die. We want them to live in a manner which reflects that the present is not the most important thing in life, but rather one’s legacy. Our children pick up this value in our lives as they see the value choices that we make.

So, what is a way to remember how to bless our children? Here is an acronym:

B – Behave

L – Lovingly in

E – Every

S – Situation with

S – Sincerity

How is it that you want to bless your adopted child(ren)? What gets in the way of doing so? What decision do you want to make today?