On a chilly afternoon, we visited the gravesite of a friend who had taken her own life four years prior. A group grieved together about the life of one who had ended her life too early.

Suicide is on the rise, and opinions differ about why this is so. But taking one’s own life is always tragic and is morally wrong, no matter what the reason(s). It represents the total loss of hope. It is marked in the belief that one has the right do whatever they want with their body, no matter whom else it affects.

There are multiple forms of suicide—physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual. Each of these is more prevalent in adopted children, partly because they struggle with their own sense of worth after having been abandoned by their birth parents. It is the climactic stage in complete loss of relationship, because the suicidal individual loses confidence that there is anyone in whom they can trust.

Because the one who commits suicide eliminates any option for assistance and understanding, they leave behind a legacy of hurt and regret. Death is not the end for the believer in Jesus Christ, to be sure, but it is the end of all earthly relationships. We do rightly grieve for those whom we love that we have lost, but sense the frustration of the person who has taken their own life. This makes our grieving bitter, especially since we ask ourselves why they did so. Why did they feel abandoning those who loved them was the only solution to their problems? We who live on do not understand the reason someone we know and love would do something so evil.

While our culture champions running away from problems rather than facing them head-on, it is certainly not God’s way. He could have left us to destroy ourselves as a result of the fall and sin, but God chose to intervene in a way so costly that we are is overwhelmed by the depths of love it took to execute His plan. God desired to show us how valuable we are to Him, so that we would live our lives for Him until He calls us home. By Jesus showing that He was willing to die a gruesome death, God demonstrated that using an escape like suicide is taking is the “easy way out” of our troubles. It is also a statement that the person believes that death is the final step and that you “only live once,” rather than trusting that there is a life after death.

Suicide is not, then, just one final step, but a series of thoughts, emotions, and actions leading up that that last act. The act of suicide is often preceded by a number of warning signs and threats, and these should all be taken seriously. While continuing to live may entail suffering, loss of pleasure, and hardship, God should be viewed as the only true Giver and Taker of life.

Our adopted children should be monitored for any signs of self-mutilation or risky behaviors, as these may be precursors to self-destruction. If any are present, this is an urgent situation requiring professional help. They also need to be reassured of our love for them and the fact that they are precious in God’s sight as well.

Life is precious because God made us in His image, and because He says that He knew us before we were born (Psalm 139). Please comment in blog in the comment box below and let me know what you have learned about this subject.