Those in the northern part of the country are accustomed to getting plenty of snow in the winter. The snow, as it comes down, is pure and white. It appears as though it could not get any whiter. Then, as it mixes with salt and dirt, it first becomes dingy, and then darker and darker. No longer does it have its pristine whiteness, but has become like the things that have been absorbed into it.

In adoption, the parents often view their adopted children as perfect, like the freshly fallen snow that lies on the ground on a wintry night. We tend to gloss over their imperfections as the social worker tells us more about them (or maybe there is a shortage of information). We as parents think that whatever problems our adopted children have, they will overcome them by means of our simply “loving” them.

After the adoption, we begin to recognize the struggles that they are having (not to mention our own), many the result of lacking permanent relationships to count on. Their past mixes with their present, until it appears “dirty” as they seek to sort out the meaning of their new relationships and their own feelings. We, as parents, are also dealing with our own disappointments and concerns, and may wonder if there is anything we can do to help our children understand that we really do love them.

Another snowfall comes along and covers up all the ugly colors of the old one. As a new family, we can experience this together in a variety of ways: on a vacation together, playing games, camping, movie night, having fun times together, and building positive memories. Such activities give both us and our children new hope that the relationship will turn out well, even if not exactly in the way originally expected.

One of the keys we have found helpful is to spend time together in prayer for our children. This strengthens us to continue parenting, and the Lord fills us with glimmers of hope as He answers prayer for our children. When we unite in prayer, it helps us see that our problems are not insurmountable.

One way to help you remember that “snow” makes all things look more beautiful is the following:

S – Seeing

N – New

O – Opportunities for

W – Working together

What ways have you uncovered to help your children to get past the bumps in the road of their lives? Please comment in the box below. Thanks!