“No!” both of our sons said emphatically, when we asked if they had taken the car keys and tried to move the car. We had settled down for Sunday afternoon nap, only to wake up and find that the car had been rammed into the neighbor’s fence and knocked down their gate. They were only eleven at the time, and had no idea what was involved in driving. Finally, after what seemed like weeks, we got them to admit that they had taken the keys from the hook in the kitchen and tried to “drive” the car.

Why is it that we try so hard to cover up our disobedience? Part of this is our sinful nature not being willing to confess our sin. Adam and Eve had the same problem when confronted by God after they had eaten from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil in the Garden of Eden. Each wanted to blame the other rather than take responsibility for what they had done. We innately recognize that there are consequences for admitting that we have done the wrong thing, and we want someone else to take the rap.

In addition, we try to protect ourselves by justifying that what we did was “right.” We may resort to the opinions of others (our sons did so in this situation), or we may simply rationalize in our own minds that what we did was right “under the circumstances.” The extreme form of this is the defense that all truth is relative, and that no “right” or “wrong” actually exist. But where there is no confession, there is also no forgiveness.

Could it also have been that our sons did not trust us? Adoption had led them to the conclusion that adults are not trustworthy. In a world where hope was in short supply, an attempt to experiment might be one solution. We all have some doubts about the meaning of our lives, but Jeremiah 29:11 says that God is orchestrating all that happens to us for our good (even those things which seem evil to us).

The truth about what we have done sets us on a course for healing. Our sons struggled to learn that there can be consequences which are reversible, but some that are not reversible. The regret from our sin can be reversed, however, when we are willing to acknowledge what we have done. This is a topic that every parent needs to address with their child(ren), and be quick to forgive when we are willing to expose what we have done.

What have you done to help your children understand how to address disobedience? How do you help them recover after disobeying? Please comment in the comment box below the blog.